The World Needs People Who Stick to Their Guns

Being a single woman in a small town, I've heard my share of advice and suggestions in the department of dating. Being a single Christian woman, I've had my share of frustrations in dating as well. You know, the reactions to a single Christian woman can be interesting. Some people are in awe of a person with any kind of moral standards at all. Some people are encouraging, telling you to "stick to your guns" and that if you'll just keep your standards, one day it will all be worth it (my opinion too). And then there are the people who think you're crazy. Waiting for marriage? Are you crazy? Who does that? Where's the fun in it?, they ask. On my loneliest days, sometimes I've wondered if I was really going about this the right way. By making sacrifices, by not being afraid to stand firm in my faith or let someone know that I drew hard lines where most of society prefers to keep lines nice and blurry, by working in the church several different ways and not being afraid to let people see that side of my life either, well, you might can imagine that the line of young men asking for my number shortens quite dramatically. On those loneliest days, I've had the same conversation with myself, over and over: Strong Christian standards make dating hard, and sometimes it feels darn near impossible. Maybe if I dropped that bible study I've been leading...maybe guys wouldn't be so afraid of me. Maybe...maybe if I did actually go out to the bars with some of my friends and just tried to blend in a little better, flirt a little more....maybe I could actually meet somebody. And for a split second, that sounds pretty feasible.

That is, it sounds feasible until I remember that it's that kind of thought process that makes people turn in their relationship for God to trade it in for some kind of pleasure that will only go with them as far as the grave. I want a man in my life alright, but the kind of man I could end up with as a result of lowering my standards isn't the kind of man I want at all. So then, almost with a broken heart, I realize that it's God's plan, it's God's work that truly matters. It's what I'm on this planet for. Not to suit myself and take all the easy roads. Those easy roads aren't what gets me where I know in my heart I actually want to go. On the loneliest of days, "sticking to your guns" isn't the easy thing to do at all. In fact, sometimes, on the loneliest of days, it feels - let's just be honest - it feels like the very things I do to keep my soul Heaven bound, are the very things that make life downright miserable down here. "Sticking to your guns" isn't easy, that's for certain, and it's even harder when people around me start realizing that sticking to my guns is preventing a few men from putting their names on my dance card. A few well-meaning friends suggested I stop writing for a Christian blog (not gonna name which blog, of course :)). Others thought that maybe if I dressed a little more suggestively and went out to the bars with them then my problems could be solved in a heartbeat.

Surely every Christian single, in any stage of life, has struggled with the same frustrations. It's hard to find encouragement to stay on the less traveled roads we find ourselves on. I know. I'm there.

Lucky for me, today I found some of that much needed encouragement and I thought I'd share it with you, just in case you need it too. Any emphasis you see with italics is mine (there's some other good advice in there too and I didn't want to chop the work to pieces).

"The World Needs People

Who cannot be bought;

Whose word is their bond;

Who put their character above wealth;

Who possess opinions and a will;

Who are larger than their vocations;

Who do not hesitate to take chances;

Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;

Who will be as honest in small things as in great things;

Who will make no compromise with wrong;

Whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;

Who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it;:"

Who are true to their friends through good report

and evil report, in adversity as well as prosperity;

Who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hardheadedness

are the best qualities for winning success;

Who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for

the truth when it is unpopular;

Who can say "no" with emphasis,

although all the rest of the world says "yes." "

-Ted W. Engstrom
From Motivation to Last a Lifetime

Here's to sticking to your guns. Hang in there -

Kim

When Change is Here to Stay

When school was out for the summer, I thought to msyelf: "Finally! I can catch my breath! I can finally slow down a little and really enjoy myself!" But the very next week, I was working with a museum to collect data on a fossil bone bed, giving a workshop for teachers and beginning plans for a new teacher program for my area. And when that was over, I thought "Okay! Now I can finally catch my breath! Get back to that relaxing non-routine I've been looking forward to all year!" and then I promptly left town for the weekend to see a relative's new baby and when I got back from that, I promptly left the state for a month to study hardcore astronomy (see Moving on Indeed). When I got back from that, I thought "Finally! Now I can catch my breath and relax!" and then that very day I helped move a family member into a new apartment and helped my best friend move out of her house. As I feel my summer slip between my fingers, I start looking at my calendar and do I see that nice relaxing time to just rest? Well, no, not exactly. I see another trip out of the state, I see another couple of workshops to give, family reunions, friends to go see before they move out of state - and then school starting again, with more workshops to give, more conferences to attend, more weekend roadtrips. Suddenly, it doesn't look like things are ever going to get back to normal at all, and it's a little alarming.

I see a lot of people around me going through the same thing, actually. I see parents getting ready to send the last of their kids off to college. I see a lot of my friends moving to new places, getting new jobs far away from the life we have spent together over the last year. I see new Mom's. I see people moving on from ended marraiges and people adjusting to new marraiges. Everywhere I look there are people suddenly coming to the realization that change is here for good.

I keep asking myself how on earth I got to be so busy. At this time last year, I was dying for something to do or someone to talk to. Now I've got so much to do that I can't remember it all and so many people moving in and out of my life that I can't keep in touch with everybody like I should.

Wait a minute. Rewind. Was I just feeling worried because now I have causes to be passionate about? Was I just now feeling bedraggled because of all these people who need a piece of my time? Those are the very things I was praying for!!! Look at that! New things to do and see! New people to love and be loved by! Isn't that wonderful? Maybe I should be looking at all of these changes in my life, not as something that is keeping me from having my "normal" life, but as blessings, as new doors that open to more blessings I couldn't have imagined for myself. Yes, it's a little unsettling to have the very ground beneath me shift to something I don't recognize anymore, but I can't forget that there is one thing that remains unchanged in our lives, and that's God. He knows we are a little uncomfortable with how busy life has gotten, but He's got so many wonderful things that will come from it all, just waiting for us to happen on to. He knows you're broken hearted because of a friend or a child that is moving away, but He's going to carry you through it and get you to a new place where life is just as joyous as you remember it being before everything changed, but joyous in a new way.

And so when I think about that way, things look a little different and I can finally come to terms with the fact that my life is going to be different now. Change is here to stay. And somehow, that's ok.