The Power to Love: The Power in All of Us

I am a science teacher, so for me to say that I’ve been running a little experiment over the past couple of weeks is not really an earth-shattering, eyebrow raising, revelation inspiring piece of news. The funny thing it that I intended for it to be some small way of maybe changing another person’s life, and what it did was change mine.

Now have I got your eyebrows raised?

There are probably fifteen different ways I could tell you that I got the idea planted in my head, but the long and short of it is that I know this kid who tends to get overlooked a lot. She’s not one of the star students that gets everyone’s attention and she’s not one of those kids that is such a problem in class that every teacher knows the child’s name whether they’ve personally met them or not. No, this is one of those kids who just sits in the back of class, not particularly caring about anything except maybe sleeping. Smart, but not motivated. Friendly enough, but not outgoing enough to really catch a person’s attention. So, like a lot of other kids, (and I hate myself for even saying this), she tends to get put on the back burner of a teacher’s mind. We all know people like that. We all can think of people that we see pretty often, but don’t pay much attention to, all the while knowing that no one else pays attention to them either. It makes us sad and sometimes we go so far as to make a mental note that next time we’ve got a spare minute, we’re going to at least stop and have a conversation with the person or see if they need help with running errands, carrying or buying groceries, etc. And we also know that that spare minute just never really comes, does it?

Here’s where the experiment comes in. I saw that kid in the hallway and I was busy, but I knew that somebody needed to take note of her. She had gone so long without anyone noticing her that she preferred not to even be noticed. So I said “good morning.” (Big step, huh?) Oh, I knew it wasn’t much. But I’ve never gone about trying to change a person’s life before, and hey, I had to start somewhere. The next day, I asked her how she was. The third day, she told me how she was. The fourth day, she stopped by my classroom to say hello. By the fifth day, after four days of asking how her day was going and getting the answer that her day was terrible, I figured I needed to try something else to let this kid know somebody cared about her. So in between classes, I grabbed a scratch piece of paper (funny how you can’t find a fresh notepad when you need one) and I scribbled a quick “Today is going to be a great day!” and signed it. Put it in her locker. That was it. Not much. Nothing earth-shattering.

But the results were. The student didn’t find the note until two days later, but when she did, she came by my room, smiling for the first time in months. The next day, she brought a huge poster she’d drawn just for me, telling me “Today was a GREAT day!” This began a system of back and forth note writing. None of these notes were fancy or had much content. Just lots of smiley faces and polka dots and encouraging reminders. One day, another student saw the first girl bringing a note to me. I might add that this second student is one that is especially hard to reach. She doesn’t have encouragement from home and has such a hardened attitude that she’s another kid who gets put on the back burner. Well, she started bringing me handmade cards too. So I put a note in her locker, a lot like the first girl’s, only this time I wrote a quote about tough spirits, like hers. I got a whole handmade book of quotes from her the very next day, along with a grin and a hug in the hallway. (I might mention that it’s hard to hug someone when your jaw is still lying on the floor.) Their notes of encouragement started, well, encouraging me to invest more of my time (even if it was the few minutes of time between classes) in these kids that no one sees, and I include myself on that list of blind adults. So I thought of another young girl who most of us had given up on as a lost cause. Now, this time, I was a little more afraid to make the leap. This kid had never even spoken to me during the two years I’ve had her as a student and she's been in and out of school so many times that I never really know if I'll have her the next day or not. My efforts with this child could totally flop.

On the next day, still running off of a high from the smiles of the two previous girls, I decided to put a note in the third student’s locker, not expecting to see anything change. I know that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, but I was probably showing something a little more microscopic than that. What I got in return was the third student suddenly participating in class (gasp!!!!) and talking to me between classes about what she was learning (learning?!!! This child?!) and calling out to me from across the lunchroom that I could have her spot in the lunch line.

I have a quote written on a scrap of paper in my classroom by Charles Swindoll that says “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” That quote is so inspiring to me, but it has always scared me a little too. What could I do if I stopped being afraid that my efforts wouldn’t lead to success? What change could I bring to the world if I lived my faith the way I should, with all my mustard seeds in one basket, not fearing that pouring out all of my faith and love will result in running out of faith and love? Just the simple act of telling three girls that I can see them, has resulted in a scribbley chain reaction of quietly showing love that is slowly taking over the school. It’s making me not just a better teacher, but a better person. And the part that keeps shocking me is how easy, how simple it really is. It’s not taking up my feverishly guarded and protected time, but rather making me want to give more and more of my heart and my time to it. It has changed how I look at the world and has changed my priorities. It’s also terrifying, because I look at the lightening fast changes we get from showing love to just one person and then I realize – what if there is someone else, right now, who needs someone to love them? The scary part is - how many people right here in front of me have I not loved? Realizing that you have the power to love is frightening when you realize that it is just as powerful not to love someone. It makes you stop and think. And rethink. Then you start understanding a lot of scripture and you start hearing snippets of them in your head with alarming clarity. This is what God wants me to do with the time He’s given me. This is what life is supposed to be about. If you reap what you sow, why not sow all the mustard seeds you’ve got? The next revelation I’ve had is that here I was in my self absorbed self righteousness, thinking that I’d love one kid and probably wouldn’t see anything in return. How faithless I was! Love comes from God and if I choose to let Him use me as a channel, why on God’s green Earth would God choose for that love to fail? It is His own handiwork – not mine!

2 Peter 1:5 says that “ . . . finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

God is writing revelations on my heart with the handwriting of forgotten children, not only needing to love, but needing to love somebody. What started with a two minute experiment is growing into an ever increasing number of chain reactions that loop and wind back around to places that only God could take them, and that includes my own heart.

Am I changing kids’ lives like I wanted to? I don’t know that I am, but I know that God is.

He’s certainly changing mine.


Have a safe and happy holiday and I ask that you take the time to stop and love someone. You have nothing to lose and you both have everything to gain. Love like it can’t fail. It won’t.

Blessings

Ezekial 34:26 says, "I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."

The question is, what will we do with these blessings.

Often times we are is such a big hurry, getting from one place to another, that we completely miss the blessing. Or maybe we find it to be an inconvenience or a bother. Did you feel the blessing of the cooler weather or the hug of a small child on a busy morning.

Perhaps more often, we turn the blessing into a responsibility or a job. I have been blessed with many things in my life, however, when I turn them in to responsibilities they feel more like burdens. I love my second job. It has been such a huge blessing. It has given me a reason to get out of the house while doing something constructive. I have met some amazing people and it has given me a resource that I enjoy using to help others. The problem is that I have stopped seeing the blessings and started looking at the responsibilities that can be overwhelming at times. There is dusting to do, windows to clean, floors to vaccuum, shelves to stock. The fourteen hour days are hard when I forget to look at the blessings and just at the work..

There is nothing I love more than my kids and grandbabies, but when I would forget to look at the blessings, the job of being the sole bread winner, the disciplinarian, the tutor, the maid and all the other jobs that go in to raising children, it would be overwhelming. On those days, God would remind me through a word or deed, just how much the kids added to my list of blessings.

I have served on numerous civic and church boards. Many have been directly related to improving the lives of children. The others have been Church or Single Adult Ministry realted. All three of these areas are very dear to my heart. The problem is that in the process of making decisions for the organization, at times the ones being served are forgotten. At that point, it just becomes another chore that we have to do, another meeting that we have to attend. We lose the blessing in the business of being busy.

Then there is the task of allowing others to bless us. I think especially for single adults, we tend to be so independent that we often don't ask or accept the help that we need. We get so caught up in not being a burden to others that we miss the blessing of friendship. I had a friend tell me once that when I didn't let her help me, that I robbed her of a blessing. That has changed the way I offer help and also the way I receive help.

I hope that as the holiday season approaches, that we will look at the blessings around us. If we don't get to caught up in the shopping and cooking and list of events, we will also see the showers of blessing.

Table for 5

Beginning in January 2009, I would like to start a TABLE FOR 5 in the Abilene area. The way it would work, is that every other week for 10 weeks (5 meetings), 5 people would meet to eat a meal and get to know one another. At the end of the 10 weeks each of the 5 people at the table would start their own TABLE FOR 5.

I would like to have a Table of people either from different congregations or from different towns and/or different demographics within singleness (never married, custodial single parent, non-custodial single parent, widow, etc...)

I would also like to invite anyone else to start a TABLE FOR 5 in their area as well.

Each of the 5 persons would be responsible for planning one meeting. Originally it was designed as a Table for 8 and you rotated homes, but you could certainly meet in restaurants as long as you could spend about an hour getting to know one another.

If anyone is interested in joining my Table - please e-mail me at darlaflatt@hotmail.com or just comment on this blog.