Feelin' the Love. Among Other Things...

This may be completely irrelevant at this point, but it’s still on my mind, so maybe it’s still on yours too. I mean, surely there is someone else out there who shares my laughter and feels my pain. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice, because where I live, everyone noticed. This week was centered around Valentine’s Day and I’d like to believe that I’m not the only one who tried not to make a big deal about it, but was foiled again. Foiled like a piece of heart-shaped chocolate.

I’m not one of those people who thinks Valentine’s Day should be renamed Singles Awareness Day. I’m not one of those people who thinks Valentine’s Day was put into existence for the sole purpose of rattling change in consumers' pockets to prod the economy along. I’m fine with Valentine’s Day, I really am. It’s a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling kind of day, right? Well, that’s what I meant for it to be.

I was doing great. I gave valentines to my middle school youth at church and even got some back from them. I was feelin’ the love. I gave valentines to my brother and sister. I was feelin’ the love. I watched the news stories about valentines before work, I listened to love songs on the radio on my way to work and I was just fine. I got a bag of lovely little candies and a candy bar from a couple of my students. I even wore pink to work to show the world that this was one girl who was not afraid to face Valentine’s Day. I was doing great. I was feelin’ the love. Not awareness.

And then it happened. It was the last class of the day, and my boss, in continuation of a long series of practical jokes, and probably without realizing that I really didn’t have a date for Valentine’s, secretly put one of my students up to asking me who I was going to meet up with at the ball game that night (something he totally made up, I might add). And the kid kept up his end of the deal - in front of seventeen other feverishly nosy students, I might add. I handled the situation like a pro though. I smiled mischievously and gave them the same number of details I always give kids about my personal life (which is none) and laughed at the cruel, cruel irony of it all.

Finally, school was out and I thought “wow, I actually made it through this day somewhat unscathed!” And then it happened. Here came flower deliveries for teachers. Here comes the flower lady, and there she goes, right past my room, but still on my radar. (sigh). Oh wait. She comes back! She has half a dozen roses! I’m completely caught off guard – could it be?

Don’t get excited like I did. My student teacher was the one getting the flowers. Oh, yes, they were beautiful. And that’s what everyone else said, as they flocked into my room, seeing the flowers and assuming they were mine. Which brought on an unintentionally cruel series of eager questions about my boyfriend no one knew about. Nope. Sorry, guys. No boyfriend. The flowers aren’t mine. This, then, brings on a series of awkward yanking of feet out of mouths and a mass exodus out the door of my room, which is hard to pull off if you are kicking yourself, I notice. For someone trying not to make a big deal about being single on Valentine’s Day, the rest of the world sure seemed bent on twisting it into Singles Awareness Day, indeed!

When it is finally time to go home, I am racing to the door to the parking lot before anyone can say anything else, but unfortunately, another coworker sees one of those darned bags of candy the kids gave me, assumes the worst, and shouts across the foyer “Hey! You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!!!” and I, of course, replied for the fifteenth and a half time that there was no boyfriend to tell her about, to which she remarked, “Still?!”

If I had any warm fuzzies left before then, they were blowing away in the wind by now.

I should probably say that later, my folks showered me with candy and a girl friend even sent me a flower, which probably saved my life. I should also say that despite everything, I really don’t hate Valentine’s Day. I’m glad it’s over, no doubt, but I’m still feelin’ the love. I am surrounded by kids that are dying to love someone, I have a family that loves me and doesn’t only tell me that on Valentine’s Day. And above all, God’s got a love so big that He’s had nothing on his mind for thousands - for millions - of years, but to love me, even if I ended up losing my grip on all my warm fuzzies out there in a high school parking lot. He loves you too. Look at the valentines He’s left for you. There’s a whole book of ‘em.

Anyway, like I said, this may all be quite irrelevant now that it’s all over. Maybe I just wanted to publicly dust myself off and say I was brave. I looked Valentine’s Day right in the face. I felt the love. I felt the awareness (darn it!). And I’m ok. If you lived to see the weekend after Valentine’s, then you’re ok too.

On to St. Patrick’s Day!