I attended the same church for the last several years and when the single adult ministry that we attempted to implement failed for the second time - there just didn't seem to be a place that I fit. So for months now I have not attended anywhere. I'm not sure that they have missed me yet as I have heard from not one member of the church. I must say that if very frustrating to me.
I am also a part of an interdenominationsl singles group and all of a sudden there are girls nights out which all of us girls are not invited to. Due to my work schedule, I am unable to attend very regularly, but for the first time since I met this group, I feel left out.
I also have a group of women who I spent many years sitting with in the bleachers watching our kids play various sports. We go to supper a few times a year and once more there have been several activities recently from which I have been excluded.
I think the hardest part of being single, for me at least, is going places alone. This is especially true on Sunday mornings.
Yesterday, I decided that it was time to return to Church after a LONG break. So, since I have many options in Abilene, I started thinking about which church I would be the most comfortable sitting alone in. Then I considered going to another denomination, with my friends but that doesn't seem right to me either. So I chose one of the smaller Methodist churches here in town and with all the power I could muster, I drove there and walked in. As I walked in I found several people sitting alone. While there were not many people my age, I still felt welcome.
However, to be fair, I had forgotten that my great-aunt went to that church, so I had someone to sit with. I still consider it a big step for me - just walking in the door.
What are your biggest struggles with singleness? Let us know.
1 comment:
I know exactly what you mean! When I was living in another town, several hours away from my family and friends, I started going to a church but it was very, very family focused. Being family focused is fantastic, of course, and incredibly important, but it sort of left me feeling like the preacher wasn't talking to me in the sermons and I couldn't very well bring myself to show up to
"family night" activities. None of that fit. One day I walked in and it just felt like no one saw me at all and I stopped going after that day.
Going alone to church hasn't necessarily bothered me lately, but I think that's because I volunteer and work with the music and kids there and so I feel like I belong and like I have a purpose there whether or not I am there "with" someone.
Having said that, I still really hate going to weddings alone. I don't like going to ball games alone, because I feel like everyone there sees me and wonders why it is that I'm still not married. It's not that I think the world revolves around me - I guess sometimes I just worry about what everyone else sees as I sit alone.
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