Being a single woman in a small town, I've heard my share of advice and suggestions in the department of dating. Being a single Christian woman, I've had my share of frustrations in dating as well. You know, the reactions to a single Christian woman can be interesting. Some people are in awe of a person with any kind of moral standards at all. Some people are encouraging, telling you to "stick to your guns" and that if you'll just keep your standards, one day it will all be worth it (my opinion too). And then there are the people who think you're crazy. Waiting for marriage? Are you crazy? Who does that? Where's the fun in it?, they ask. On my loneliest days, sometimes I've wondered if I was really going about this the right way. By making sacrifices, by not being afraid to stand firm in my faith or let someone know that I drew hard lines where most of society prefers to keep lines nice and blurry, by working in the church several different ways and not being afraid to let people see that side of my life either, well, you might can imagine that the line of young men asking for my number shortens quite dramatically. On those loneliest days, I've had the same conversation with myself, over and over: Strong Christian standards make dating hard, and sometimes it feels darn near impossible. Maybe if I dropped that bible study I've been leading...maybe guys wouldn't be so afraid of me. Maybe...maybe if I did actually go out to the bars with some of my friends and just tried to blend in a little better, flirt a little more....maybe I could actually meet somebody. And for a split second, that sounds pretty feasible.
That is, it sounds feasible until I remember that it's that kind of thought process that makes people turn in their relationship for God to trade it in for some kind of pleasure that will only go with them as far as the grave. I want a man in my life alright, but the kind of man I could end up with as a result of lowering my standards isn't the kind of man I want at all. So then, almost with a broken heart, I realize that it's God's plan, it's God's work that truly matters. It's what I'm on this planet for. Not to suit myself and take all the easy roads. Those easy roads aren't what gets me where I know in my heart I actually want to go. On the loneliest of days, "sticking to your guns" isn't the easy thing to do at all. In fact, sometimes, on the loneliest of days, it feels - let's just be honest - it feels like the very things I do to keep my soul Heaven bound, are the very things that make life downright miserable down here. "Sticking to your guns" isn't easy, that's for certain, and it's even harder when people around me start realizing that sticking to my guns is preventing a few men from putting their names on my dance card. A few well-meaning friends suggested I stop writing for a Christian blog (not gonna name which blog, of course :)). Others thought that maybe if I dressed a little more suggestively and went out to the bars with them then my problems could be solved in a heartbeat.
Surely every Christian single, in any stage of life, has struggled with the same frustrations. It's hard to find encouragement to stay on the less traveled roads we find ourselves on. I know. I'm there.
Lucky for me, today I found some of that much needed encouragement and I thought I'd share it with you, just in case you need it too. Any emphasis you see with italics is mine (there's some other good advice in there too and I didn't want to chop the work to pieces).
"The World Needs People
Who cannot be bought;
Whose word is their bond;
Who put their character above wealth;
Who possess opinions and a will;
Who are larger than their vocations;
Who do not hesitate to take chances;
Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
Who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
Who will make no compromise with wrong;
Whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;
Who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it;:"
Who are true to their friends through good report
and evil report, in adversity as well as prosperity;
Who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hardheadedness
are the best qualities for winning success;
Who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for
the truth when it is unpopular;
Who can say "no" with emphasis,
although all the rest of the world says "yes." "
-Ted W. Engstrom
From Motivation to Last a Lifetime
From Motivation to Last a Lifetime
Here's to sticking to your guns. Hang in there -
Kim
1 comment:
I really liked this entry. I often times feel two conflicting sides of the issue. One side of me wants to be strong while waiting. The continue looking for dating opportunities but not compromising my standarsd. While the other wants to be strong and say that this is who I am. Not capture the singleness as not a period of my life, but who I am. To embrace it as a gift and something to not be looked down upon.
I feel that this line "Who do not hesitate to take chances;
Who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;" kind of shows the benefit of both sides. Taking chances by seeing what the future holds, while maintaining my current self and not losing individuality.
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