Writer's Block

Boy, it’s been a busy several weeks. I’d like to say I had a good excuse for not posting anything all this time, but the truth is that I’ve had an opportunity or two. The truth is that I’ve even put some thought into what the next article ought to be. The truth is that there’s plenty of single Christian topics to discuss, plenty of bible stories to relate to.

And the truth is, I’ve got writer’s block.

I’ve got writer’s block in a lot of different ways, actually. This time it’s more than just not knowing exactly what to write about for a blog. It’s about not knowing what to say to myself and not knowing what to say to God. Did you ever feel like that?

When you are passing through a storm in your life, whether that be an issue that comes up at work, a house payment you don’t know how you’ll make, a relationship or maybe something your child is going through, you know what you want. You know you need out of the problem, you figure out what it takes to get you out and you ask for God’s help and direction. You may not be having a easy time of things, but your prayers come easy and they come often. You’re focused because you are at least sure in the fact that you know you want out. Then God delivers you. Now your know you are blessed and again, your focus and prayers come easy –“ Hallelujah! Thank you, Father!”

Then, sometimes, for reasons I can’t reason out, comes writer’s block. Now the storm is over and there’s the aftermath to clean up. I’m thankful that the worst of the storm is through, I really am. But now what? Now I look around myself and I don’t know what to do next. When I’m at work, I sit and I’m glad that it’s a new week, but for the life of me, I can’t see past the stacks of papers and books and lists of things to do on my desk. I don’t know where to start, or even where I want to go with it all. So I sort through all the possible directions I could go in my mind, and at the end of the day, all I’ve got is the same mess I started with and the overwhelming sense that I don’t know how I’ll face it the next day either. How will I know what to do with this tomorrow if I can’t figure it out today?

When I come home, I see laundry that needs doing, I see work that needs to be done in my yard, I see a sink full of dirty dishes and a growing stack of bills that I need to pay. I don’t know what to do first. I want to enjoy my newfound quiet time and I’m afraid of it at the same time. I want to make a new start on some things in life, but I don’t know how to get there or if I’m even really ready for it. I want to sit and have just a few quiet moments to think and to pray, but when I sit down, the words won’t come.

Writer’s block.

What do you do when you just don’t know what to do anymore? When you want to find your drive again, but you don’t know where you want to go? When you want to say something to God, but you just can’t figure out what to say?

I went to a bookstore once and saw a little box of magnets for sale. Each one had a different word printed on it and the whole thing was being advertised (jokingly) as a cure for writer’s block. It was there for you to take the words and however you wanted to, arrange them on the door of a refrigerator. Hopefully, playing with the words would inspire your mind and open the flood gates again.

You know, Jesus kind of did that for us, too. I think that he must have known that we might come to the point now and then when we wouldn’t know what to say and to help us keep the phone lines open, he gave us a prayer that would help us cover all the bases until we could find our own words again.

“Our Father, who art in Heaven” –
reminding me that God is there, listening and speaking back to my heart with a voice that is calm, strong and solid. God didn't ask us to pray so that he could be reminded that we are out there. He asked us to pray so that we'll remember that He's there.

“Hallowed be thy name.”
I’m not the one in charge here. I’m like Moses on that mountain side with a burning bush. It’s time to take off my sandals - I’m on hallowed ground - and understand I’m not the one who’s calling shots here.

“Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,”
While I’m taking off my sandals, it’s also time to concede that all my troubles, all my heartaches, all those stacks of paper on my desk, all the problems in the world I can’t solve – none of it is mine. This isn’t actually my mountain side. It’s Gods. This is God’s universe. I don’t have any answers for anything, and I’m not supposed to. God didn’t ask for a substitute teacher, so it’s high time I stopped trying to be one. It’s God’s kingdom and it’s His will that reigns. That’s actually a relief!

“On Earth as it is in Heaven.”
That’s not to say that His will doesn’t include all these little details I’m chasing day in and day out. This prayer says that God’s will will be done on Earth just as it is in Heaven. My idea of God’s will in Heaven includes a mental picture of galaxies and stars and swirls of shiny things I can’t comprehend the sheer size of. Look at the power! Look at the miracle of it all! Why, on God’s green Earth, wouldn’t He use that same power on this planet? Of course His will is going to be at work in my life! I may not can see where He’s going with it, but that doesn’t mean He’s not right here. There is security in realizing that the God of the stars and the moon and the sun is the same God of my desk at work, my flower beds and everything that I need between the two.

Give us this day our daily bread –
Lord, I don’t even know what I need. I don’t even know what I need to be asking for. I don’t know if I need rest or if I need to be surrounding myself with people who care about me. I can’t even say what I want for supper, and I’ve been staring into the refrigerator for thirty minutes. But You know what I need, even when I don’t, and I trust that You’ll take care of me.

And forgive us our trespasses –
It feels like I can’t do a danged thing right, to put it plain and simply. My Shepherd can see me out here in this ravine though, and whether or not I know how He’s going to do it, He’ll always come and look for me. He’s never going to give up on me.

As we forgive those who trespass against us.
I can be as mad as my body will physically let me be, but it is time to finally put the past where it belongs. Behind me.

And lead us not into temptation –
I keep trying to fix my problems myself and you know what? It makes a bigger mess. I keep getting tempted into trying easy fixes, but you know, there’s not anything that is going to make any kind of hurting or anger stop until you finally give God your heart to heal. God, keep me on your straight and narrow path while I try to regain my footing.

But deliver us from evil -
Keep me on safe ground while I figure out where it is You want me to go or what it is You want me to do. Thank you for not letting me fall.

For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.
This world is God’s. He knows what He’s doing. And one day, I’ll know too.

Amen.
And no case of writer’s block can stand up to that.