Blessing or Curse?

March 10th is a day of mixed emotions for me. Tomorrow will be my oldest sons 26th birthday. I am so proud of him and who he has turned out to be. Tomorrow will also be the 22nd anniversary of my ex-husband leaving. It was the most devastating day of my life. While the grief has long ago been worked through, there is still a certain amount of hurt that is still here.

There are two ways that I have looked at my divorce. At first it was the worst possible thing that could have happened. I had three pre-school aged childen and I was 25 years old. I was babysitting at home and that in no way would pay the bills on a monthly basis. Every aspect of my life had to change.

The kids dad did not see them regularly nor did he choose to pay child support. It was only years later that I could see that gifts that he did give to them. Because he did not see them on a set schedule, there was never a conflict for social or athletic events. They could be involved in as many things as they wanted and they could always participate. We didn't have a lot of luxury items but we did have all the things that we needed. They saw God work many times when there was nothing else but a miracle to explain how things worked out. They learned to deal with disappointment and they that sometimes people don't tell the truth. Both of these are lessons that prepared them for everyday life.

My kids knew, everyday, that they were loved! Not just by me but also by their extended family. They were respected by both their peers and their teachers. They were supported by Church and community members. Their Dad may have chosen not to be a part of their lives, and that is his loss, but that didn't stop them from graduating at the top of their class and going on the become contributing members of society. I also owe a great deal of gratitude to my bosses of 20 years. They allowed me to be a mom, first and foremost, they picked me up when I was down and loved me when I was the most unlovable.

We always have a choice to decide how we will look at our difficulties. We can see them as a blessing or a curse. Throughout the last 22 years I have learned to look for the blessings and realize that if we don't have any problems then we aren't in live for a miracle. GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! Even when it is the hardest to recognize He is there loving us, we just have to look for Him.