Look Up

I'm rather proud of the title of this blog entry because it's got three different meanings all wrapped up into two words. I'm going to keep you in suspense for a minute though as I explain the thought process that brought me to it...

I've been thinking about needs that are unique to single adults and just now, one crossed my mind that I hadn't really thought about before. Whether you recognize it or not, we all watch and learn from the people around us. The problem, for me at least, is that I while I'm studying these role models, I tend to focus my studies on the people already in relationships. This means that at work, I'm watching and trying to relate to my coworkers' conversation about their kids being sick and I can't, so I end up frustrated and thinking my needs are selfish or shallow. When I watch TV, I'm comparing myself to people in relationships and then think I don't fit in with society in general because gosh darnit, it looks like everyone but me is married or in some other stretched and strained, but working relationship. Even at church, sometimes just seeing a older couple sitting next to each other makes me so lonely that I can't focus on the sermon, because I keep thinking that that's what a full life should look like and I don't have it.

It's fine to have married role models, of course, but does it make sense for all of the people you learn from to be living in a situation that doesn't match yours? I get a great deal of inspiration and motivation from quotes by people who made amazing changes in the world around them when the world said it was impossible, or from people who came from rural areas like me, or from people who simply overcame odds clearly marked against them and managed to survive and become influential leaders. I can relate to those folks because in one respect or another, they started with a story kind of like mine and have goals a lot like mine too.

Why aren't we looking for single adult role models? So I looked at some stats. Did you know that single adults really aren't a minority? Did you know that single adults, by the year 2003, actually made up nearly half of all households* in the U.S.? Think about all of the single adults that are out there that you can learn from and grow beside! And then, something I've always known resurfaced in my mind, but under a new light. Jesus himself was single, for crying out loud! What a role model! Here I am, wishing my coworkers could relate to having to cook supper, do laundry, figure out what that weird sound coming from my car is, or what that weird sound was at night, in the darkness, all alone, when the star of the Bible himself knows exactly what I'm going through (well, ok, so he probably didnt' have to take apart a dashboard, but I'd bet that maintaining a road weary donkey is just as frustrating). That's what Jesus was sent here for - so God could say "I can relate with you." What better person is there to learn from, study and grow with as a single person?

Then I got to thinking, you know, Jesus wasn't the only single person in the bible. There are more! In the Bible, God used single people as one of the strongest forces in His ministry to the world because single people can think about things besides other people at home (see 1 Corinthians 7:32-35). They can pick up and follow a calling (or a Caller). Single people can relate to people from so many backgrounds and situations. Suddenly, I don't feel so alone and I don't feel so out of place. I don't feel like my needs are superficial or unimportant because Jesus had the same ones. In fact, I'm starting to feel like my singleness is what makes me part of one huge, incredible, in-the-making-for-thousands-of-years story that has a purpose I can contribute to.

So, like I said, the title of this blog has got a three way meaning. Number one: We all need role models to look up to, to help ourselves grow in the right direction. Number two: All we have to do is look up to Jesus to find the perfect role model who knows exactly what we're going through. And Number three: Help me out. Let's look up more single people in the Bible. I know there are more. So I'm assigning you homework (I'm a teacher, I can do that). Find one and post a comment about him or her, so we can help each other. You might could even go the extra mile and tell us how you relate with that person you found.

Oh, and you might could throw in a note about how you have to admit it -that is one very efficient title. :)

*You can see for yourself at the Census Bureau. Here's the report. Look at page 14 if you don't wanto to sort through a lot of other stats.