Down to Business instead of Dizzyness

Of the whole three or four people that voted in the poll (where was everyone else?!), it looks like for the most part, singles would rather date someone they already know or that a trusted friend already knows. When I think about that, I'm really not that shocked and you probably aren't either. For one thing, physical safety is something we absolutely have to be aware of these days when meeting new people and you do, of course, want to know that you have things in common with this person before you go on the date. That all makes a great deal of sense. But something else doesn't.

I'm willing to bet that I'm not the only person who's ever had visions of looking for a book in a bookstore and looking up to see someone looking at the same shelf, casually striking up a conversation and then deciding to have coffee together and then a year or so later, one or both of us are standing at a wedding reception stating it was love at first sight - oh sorry, did I get carried away there? Well, maybe I did, but as ridiculous as it sounds, I've done it. I've been the girl sitting at a restaurant alone, imagining striking up a great conversation with a stranger and falling in love. I've also been the girl who gets frustrated and then down about how those sorts of things just never happen (well, ok, they've happened, but they sure haven't panned out).

Now let's put those two paragraphs' thoughts together - we prefer to date someone who isn't a complete stranger........but that's what a heck of a lot of time and energy and thought and worrying-about gets put into. Meeting and dating strangers. In a way, it's kind of like beating around a bush - we know what we want and need for very logical reasons, but we (or at least I) have spent so much time not really getting down to business. Is it not dizzying? I think this can even be extended to that part of you that knows things you really want in a person, but you still waste time (maybe "waste" time is too strong of a word, but you get the idea) on all the people that don't have those important things because "what if" they surprise you and it works out. Does that line of thinking really make sense? I'm sure it has worked for a few people, but for the most part, it seems to me like singles have the temptation to try to fix our own loneliness ourselves instead of trusting God that He's got what we need worked into His plan for us.

So now that we've really looked at the most preferred dating scenario and we recognize the fact that we're going to stop running circles around this proverbial bush - now what? Well, now we stop getting down on ourselves when we don't meet a dashing or beautiful stranger at the bookstore. Now we turn our attention to perhaps finding groups of people we can go out and have fun with so that maybe when a new person joins the group and you get to know each other, you just might find who you've been looking for all along. Or maybe we start looking at the people we already know and look for the important things in them - do they believe in God and live that belief? Are they a responsible person who would make a good leader or supporter of a household and family? Are they honest and respectful?

Which leads me to my next set of questions - what are you looking for in another person? What sends you on that second date? What signs are good signs and which ones are bad ones? There's a saying somewhere that "if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there." So let's figure out where we're going. Sit down and actually put your finger on what you want. And then tell us about it!